ONE AT A TIME FATTY!

The bathroom scales scream at me in utter agony as I gingerly lower just one chocolate and turkey filled toe of my ever expanding mass onto the foot-shaped plate.  I have been a little naughty this festive period, more so than usual.  I wont lie to you, for past few days I’ve done very little but sit my fat ass in front on the tv and veg out.  Its terrible, I know I shouldn’t  but I can hear the evil voices talking to me from the celebrations tin, evil manipulative voices …  ah feck it, just one more.  Festive bliss!

Now, as I’m sure you’re fully aware, some Tv at xmas time is total pony, but some of it is utterly utterly brilliant.  Brilliant to the point where it sucks me in and wont let go (much like the afore mentioned celebrations tin).  I love nothing better than getting cosy and watching an epic adventure movie set in far off or fictional lands.  The type of movies that can provide we with total escapism.  I dream of travelling the shores I see on the screen, mixing with the characters and joining their adventures.

The above is pretty standard I reckon, but this year got me thinking what if I actually could.  Where would I go?  With who?   How?

Anywhere

If I could travel anywhere, hmmmm lets see … Hogwarts would be up there as a choice, Cybertron would also be pretty cool, as would Pandora, but Middle Earth is the one for me I think.  Yeah its pretty dangerous in middle earth,  there’s a lot of goblins and orks bopping around with pointy swords and crossbows etc, but I’m a massive Lord of the Rings fan and would simply love to explore Rivendale, Gondor, the Shire etc, I think it would be a risk worth taking.  In fact I’ve already conquered Mt Doom (sort of), so if a few orks call it on i’m pretty sure I would be able to kick the dying elf out of them.

the tongariro crossing, new zealand

 

Anytime

This is quite tough one.  I’m not a massive history buff, and every TV programme or movie I watch that is set in the past seems to be based around fighting/war.  The past is made to look like a very violent place, but then I guess people of the future will probably say the same of 2012 so what do I know.  Anyway, despite it being a absolutely awful film I have forever loved the cartoon and wished to live in Bedrock along with Flintstones characters,  Fred, Barney, Wilma and Betty.

Dinosaurs always seem to capture a child’s imagination, I was no different and fascinated from an early age.  If I were to travel in any time I’d want to go back and see these creature.  Admittedly I could just go to Jurassic Park, but their health and safety record appears to suck, so i’ll stick by Fred and co as they seem to be in harmony with the prehistoric wonders, and even take them to drive in movies.

Anybody

The Snowman would be a solid choice of person to travel with, we could fly through the winter night hand in hand.  Alas on the downside, travelling with the snowman would be seasonal only.  Buzz Lightyear would be interesting, but I’d need to spend a small fortune on AA batteries to keep him going.  Tony Stark would be a pretty epic choice as he’d allow me to get my travel geek on.  We could again fly all over the place, either in the iron man suits or on his private jet. We could take one of his very nice cars on a road-trip and stay in some pretty nice places I would imagine.  But alas travelling with Mr Stark would probably be flashpacking rather than backpacking and that’s not what i’m after, I need that bit of adventure.  Enter Lara Croft, she’s a valid choice for no other reason that she likes an adventure and knows her way around Ankor Wat, that’s all … honest.

Anything

Hmm, if I could travel with any possession or object what would it be?   Maybe the elder wand from Harry Potter that would be pretty awesome as I could magic a hammock out of a piece of string, or transform a toy car into a real one and drive to my next destination.  I also wouldn’t mind a magic carpet like the one in Aladdin  or a magic lamp with a genie … although i’d probably waste my wishes after a few too many beers on NYE. A hover board from Back to the Future II would be cool, but might count as a method of travel so I guess that’s out.  How about the knife from Prince of Persia, rewinding time would be cool, I could sort out a few of my travel regrets, but at the same time now that its a new year its about looking forward.  I guess that leaves a light sabre.  Practical, no not really, not unless I’m slicing my way through a dense jungle,  but it would look pretty bad ass and that’s as good a’ reason as I need.

Anyhow

If I could travel anyhow, without doubt this has to be by Tardis.  A method of transport that can travel in time and space, surely this is the ultimate?  I did also consider the Hogwarts Express, Red Dwarf, the bed from Bedknobs and Broomsticks, the balloon house from UP!  and the cool bikes from Tron, but the Tardis seemingly cannot be beaten.  I could travel to anywhere I wanted in just a matter of seconds, essentially I could never get homesick or bored of any one place in time.

Dr Who Experience

So there you have it, Lara Croft and I are taking our sight sabres with us in our Tardis to visit Middle Earth and Bedrock.  Sounds decent if you ask me.

If you could travel anyhow, anywhere, anytime, with anyone or anything, what would you choose?.  Feel free to copy this post and detail your own or leave them in the comments section below.

I hope you all had a great xmas and new years!!