Last night I went to see Goon at the cinema. Its about a fella who’s not the brightest, but who has decent morals and an amazing ability to punch people and make them bleed … honestly, other than fighting on ice hockey rinks he appears to be a very sound fellow.
Whilst in Australia in 2006/2007 and 2009, I drank a lot of wine, boxed wine in fact. It was known as Goon and was made of all sorts of crap. Tasted pretty crappy too, but it was cheap and made me very merry in a relitively speedy manner. Now whenever I see or hear the word Goon, I’m instantly taken back to Australia, the last night dorm room parties, the beach parties, ring of fire, dares, skinny dipping … general carnage in fact.
Goon has become something of a phenomenon in Oz, the fact there is a website called www.slapthegoon.com, http://the-goon-experience.com and loads of facebook fan pages pretty underlines it popularity as the student/backpacker budget drink of choice. Drinking Goon usually means you are playing drinking games. Within minutes of starting the games, the goon bag will have been freed from its cardboard prison. The box will then no doubt transfer to someone’s head and they become know simply as ‘box head’ for the duration of the game. Goon is marketed as ‘fruity’, this is a lie, its rough. Your best bet s to mix it with something sweet such as lemonade. A goon spritzer may sound flashpacky, but its not, its you saving yourself.
People get drunk off goon, i mean REALLY drunk. Memory goes out the window and you get seriously funny dreams, also known creatively as GOON DREAMS. It not uncommon after a heavy night out to be asked ‘Did you get gooned last night?’. Its as if the hideous wine product takes you over. I’ve seen it and lived it, its not for the faint hearted. The hangovers are amongst the worst I’ve experienced. Even worse than snakebite hangovers.
Come the morning after the night before its almost inevitable that someone somewhere will have blown up the goon bag and used it as a pillow. I was once told that the aboriginal word for pillow was goon, and thats how it got its name. To this day I still doubt the validity of that story though.
So goon, its rough, cheap, gives you a cronic hangover and will no doubt produce many stories whilst on your travels. You should probably try it, as I say its a right of passage, just dont expact to like it or the effects it has on you.